Today I was invited to join the Facebook group "Muellers of the World
Unite." After excitedly accepting, I read "the wall" (Facebook’s discussion
board feature) and learned that I am not alone in being mocked by the clever
many who have launched into full-blown impromptu renditions of the gone
absent scene from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: "Bueller, Bueller?"
Yeah, I know. Horrifying or hillarious, it remains a don’t-choke-on-your-tongue laugh riot
after twenty friggin’ years.

That’s right, "Muellers of the World Unite" is an invitation-only group
(still in its infancy, mind you, with merely 140 more than 200 members) largely concerned with
mispronunciation: as often mill-er or mull-er as the preferred
mew-ler. The seventh cousins and other kin-folk are outraged by such
egregious treatments of the surname.

I kept on reading the fourteen wall-posts, and than, feeling good about being
surrounded by like-named people, I found this treasure in the "Recent News":
"This just in: Muellers are better then you."

No, I haven’t been invited to take a leadership role in the group. I
only ask that next time you are tempted to let fly with your impersonation of a
nasally teacher uncomprehending of delinquency from school–"Mueller?
Mueller"–tune the pronunciation.