Bottom Five

In the spirit of the IMDB Bottom
, here is the IMDM Bottom 5–the worst movies I’ve ever watched,
beginning to end.  One challenge in generating such a list is that the
bottom dwellers are absolutely forgettable (and I’m not especially snappy with
movie recall when it comes to titles, producers, who acted in it, and so on). 
I’ve only watched one movie* on the IMDB Bottom 100, so it makes sense to
include it in my list, a list accounting for ten or more hours that sadly will
never be recovered.  Starting with the worst of the worst:

1 (tie). Hope Floats
(1998). Divorcee awkwardly re-connects with Texas townies. Other stuff that
floats: bloated fish carcasses, rotting seaweed….
1 (tie). The Holiday (2006).
Main characters swap houses for Christmas break (one looking for love, the other
to avoid it). Character development eliminated in the interest of meeting
a pre-holiday release deadline.
3. Look Who’s Talking (1989).
Babies interacting and observing their worlds with dubbed adult voices. Dialogue
isn’t strange enough to be funny or entertaining in the least.
4. Teen Wolf Too (1987).
Socially awkward teen is also a wolf.  I don’t remember seeing this, but
I’m sure I did. *This one also appears on the IMDB list.
5. Big Daddy (1999). Adoption
gimmick designed to renew girlfriend’s interest.

Watching The Holiday this past week inspired this little exercise. I’m sure there are several other craptacular movies that I started but did not finish watching.
Produce your own list, if, like me, you think it a public service to deter
others from making the same mistakes you have.


  1. OK, I have a problem with this list. I loved Hope Floats (it has Gina Rowlins (one of my favorite older actresses) and Harry Connick Jr.(who’s just nice to look at)). I actually liked The Holiday too — I really liked Jude Law’s character. Big Daddy is one of the boys and J’s favorites — all 3 would fight you on this one. I’m willing to make a list: 1). Waterboy – just cause it really sucks; 2). March of the Penguins; 3). Kiss the Girls — compared to the book what a letdown; 4). Flowers in the Attic — again, should have stuck to the book; and 5). Karate Kid 3 — what were they thinking? J. says The Pirate Movie — but this is personally one of my favorites (yes, I have all the words to the songs memorized!)

  2. I’d happily watch a 48-hour March of the Penguins marathon before sitting through five minutes of Hope Floats or The Holiday. Now that that is settled, the good news is that when we visit, we have classics like Escanaba in the Moonlight to enjoy as one big movie-watching family.

  3. Don’t be surprised if Santa doesn’t deliver March of the Penguins to you! Just a thought….

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