I received an email earlier this evening announcing a hot new version of
Google Analytics. Since
I’m putting off packing for
C&W, I clicked around
in it for a couple of minutes. Most of what I found was impressive, highly
detailed, analytical, and so on. But when I zoomed in on the U.S.,
something was off. Michigan, the state where I was born and raised, the
land of Vernors and Koegels (milk and honey, bah!), appeared malformed.
I zoomed in once again and found the same funky shape, only larger.
This can only mean one of the following:
- The designer at Google Analytics had one too many Old Milwaukees for
- The U.P. has, in fact, always been the shape of the stock of a shotgun.
- Four of the Great Lakes have been bulldozed after all of that precious
fresh water was leeched by a Las Vegas irrigation swindle.
- Google Analytics is consulting with a cartographer from Monroe who
mistakenly used his whole arm for a quick-map.