Belt of Verbs

Buckle on your verb belt because it’s time for "Belt of Verbs": a couple of
kicky, kooky verbs for filling up the empty pouch.

1. From this ESPN headline: decisions

Former WBC Ortiz decisions Garcia

I’m not much for

(anything that reminds me of enduring punishing blows to my head, no
thank you), but "decisions," the lexicon tells me, has been around for quite
some time. It’s what one winning boxer does to a losing boxer without a
knockout. Improper usage: "I decisioned to have an A&W Root Beer with
lunch." Unless you’re a boxer. Then you can say "decisioned"
whenever you please.

2. From a book I’ve been reading: multiplexed
"Two kinds of apprehension are mutliplexed together."

I guess this means something like giving off many complex and layered signals
all at once: an entangled conduction that allows for (even anticipates) loss. So it’s in the realm
of the intelligible that comes just before noise. Not to be mistaken for
the many-screened movie theater or the manufacturer of
foam planes.


  1. Actually, I use “multiplex” as a verb to denote any kind of retail consolidation in a community. When I was growing up, there were a bunch of scattered 1 and 2 screen theaters. In high school, I think, they all closed and combined into our area’s multiplex, which was a lot less convenient for everyone other than General Cinemas and the folks who lived near the place itself. Sucked.

    So B&N/Borders have largely multiplexed the independent bookstores, Walmart the general stores, and so on.


  2. I’d always considered megaplex or multiplex to be a name for the gigantic movie palaces that grew up and replaced the one- and two-screen houses, but I can’t say I’ve ever seen it as a verb. Until now. Today my belt of verbs more full than ever before.

  3. A friend told me she’d been “futuring” with a guy. She meant they’d been discussing their future. “Futuring.” I explained to her that I’m an ad copywriter, and even I wouldn’t stoop to such a vile verbification. I think I offended her, though. Haven’t heard back.

  4. Sounds to me like she decisioned not to be your friend any more. I like futuring better than “pasting.” Do you remember that time when…?

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