{"id":6904,"date":"2008-02-26T15:20:22","date_gmt":"2008-02-26T15:20:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.earthwidemoth.com\/blog\/2008\/02\/26\/lettuce-balloon\/"},"modified":"2008-02-26T15:20:22","modified_gmt":"2008-02-26T15:20:22","slug":"lettuce-balloon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.earthwidemoth.com\/blog\/2008\/02\/26\/lettuce-balloon\/","title":{"rendered":"Lettuce Balloon"},"content":{"rendered":"\u23f3 Approximate reading time: <\/span> 2<\/span> mins<\/span><\/span>

Many many years ago, when I was in my late twenties, I interviewed for a job
\nas a sales rep with this company<\/a>.\n<\/p>\n

I didn’t get the job. They said they weren’t convinced I wanted it
\n(clairvoyant HR?). Of course, it is always the case with rejections that, upon
\nhearing of them, I snarl, grind the bad news to a fine dust with resentment and double it
\nback, confirming (in the comfort of my private, pacifying thoughts) that they
\nwere probably right: I didn’t<\/i> want it. They did, however, gift me a
\nconciliatory packet of sticky notes marked with their logo; I was reminded of the job when I
\nfound one of those sticky notes holding a forgotten page (all this time<\/i>,
\nwhat was it marking?) in a book I leafed through the other day.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I bring this up today not because I wish I’d won that job, but because I wish
\nI had one of their fancy packaging gizmos, specifically the one that produces
\nthe lettuce balloon. I’d like one of those to insulate my head for the
\nlast six or seven days of February each and every year–to get me through to
\nMarch. It must be so peaceful and quiet inside of a lettuce balloon–so
\nclean and fresh-smelling. Extended shelf life. Effortless salad. Also, had I a
\nlettuce balloon around my noggin I would not be waylaid by this ache-making,
\nthroat-blistering crud that has clutched me in its unrelenting grasp since
\nyesterday afternoon.<\/p>\n

On top of being sick, there is more to throw off the late Feb. hermitage and
\nregular work rhythms: a winter storm, a miniseminar, stacks upon stacks of
\nunsorted papers (not “student” papers, but receipts, tax prep materials, misc. articles, foot stool assembly instructions, etc.) on my desk, a handout to cook up for a brief RNF-style talk for
\ntomorrow’s Visiting Days panel, Tuesday-night consulting in the WC<\/strike>, a quick
\ntextbook review to send back to BSM, an essay to submit for a U.-wide conte$t entry, if only I could
\nfind a minute to tune it, and some other stuff I can’t remember, like "Oh, we’re
\nout of hot tea."<\/p>\n

Lettuce balloon, oh, lettuce balloon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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