{"id":6500,"date":"2006-02-06T17:50:50","date_gmt":"2006-02-06T17:50:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.earthwidemoth.com\/blog\/2006\/02\/06\/dental-horoscop\/"},"modified":"2006-02-06T17:50:50","modified_gmt":"2006-02-06T17:50:50","slug":"dental-horoscop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.earthwidemoth.com\/blog\/2006\/02\/06\/dental-horoscop\/","title":{"rendered":"Dental Horoscopy"},"content":{"rendered":"\u23f3 Approximate reading time: <\/span> < 1<\/span> min<\/span><\/span>

Taurus (April 20-May 20): The energy and enthusiasm you sense at the start of your day will soon be
\ndisplaced by the unbearable deeps of mouth cavity x-ray hell at your a.m.
\ndental appointment–the first with a new dentist.  You’ll consider
\nrequesting an x-ray of your mangled kneepulp while they’re at it but then
\nrealize that you couldn’t ask if you wanted to because the sharp-edged x-ray
\ntabs are so firmly lodged in the soft tissue beneath your tongue that the
\nsalty tears of death-in-a-dental-chair are welling up. Ten images
\nleft…ninth one, bite down…hold.<\/i>  At your initial appointment, a
\n"consultation" involving x-rays and an exam, you’ll learn of an afternoon
\ncancellation–a 2:00 p.m slot freed up for you to return later for a cleaning.
\nSweet luck, because otherwise you’d have to wait to April to get your smilers
\ndegunked and shined.  You’ll accept the appointment.  On returning to
\nthe densist’s chair later in the day, another hygienist will make small talk
\nwith you while going hyper-jab-wild with the small metal hook-scraper, knitting
\nthose healthy gums into a slick bloodrow of wrecked mouthflesh. Your only
\ncomfort will be her bringing up the Superbowl, the weather, the approach of
\nValentine’s Day, and the visit to her daughter’s school last week to kick off
\nthis, Dental Hygiene Month. Meanwhile the smooth
\nand timeless sounds of Lionel Ritchie ("Say You, Say Me") and Joe Cocker ("You
\nAre So Beautiful") merge into soothing synch with the scratch-scratch of steel hooks grinding
\nagainst enamel.<\/p>\n

You’re everything I hoped for
\n You’re everything I need
\n You are so beautiful to me
\n You are so beautiful to me<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u23f3 Approximate reading time: <\/span> < 1<\/span> min<\/span><\/span>Taurus (April 20-May 20): The energy and enthusiasm you sense at the start of your day will soon be displaced by the unbearable deeps of mouth cavity x-ray hell at your a.m. dental appointment–the first with a new dentist.  You’ll consider requesting an x-ray of your mangled kneepulp while they’re at it but then realize…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[11],"tags":[369],"class_list":["post-6500","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-unspecified","tag-dentist"],"yoast_head":"\nDental Horoscopy - 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I don't want to call the dentist.","rel":"","context":"In "Slouching Toward"","block_context":{"text":"Slouching Toward","link":"https:\/\/www.earthwidemoth.com\/blog\/category\/slouching_toward\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6237,"url":"https:\/\/www.earthwidemoth.com\/blog\/2005\/02\/11\/why-some-weeken\/","url_meta":{"origin":6500,"position":3},"title":"Why Some Weekends Go By So Quickly","author":"Derek Mueller","date":"February 11, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Ph. indoor soccer match Sunday AM at 7:50 Run down Ph.'s uniform (call, pick a time, drive around, etc.) Read, respond to 18 essays from WRT205ers (leafed through 'em) Read Weinberger's Small Pieces Loosely Joined for 711 (net-rhets) (ch. 1-2) Tax prep appointment Set up dentist appointment Wiki futzing (had\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Slouching Toward"","block_context":{"text":"Slouching Toward","link":"https:\/\/www.earthwidemoth.com\/blog\/category\/slouching_toward\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6326,"url":"https:\/\/www.earthwidemoth.com\/blog\/2005\/06\/08\/yellow-fever-br\/","url_meta":{"origin":6500,"position":4},"title":"Yellow Fever, Broken Foot, Lost Dog","author":"Derek Mueller","date":"June 8, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Although the decaf headaches were considerably worse today, the result, I suspect, of hay fever clobbering me while I slept, it's been easy to forget about my caffeine detox in light of the hardships of those around me.\u00a0 Ph. came home early from school today because we had an appointment\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Unspecified"","block_context":{"text":"Unspecified","link":"https:\/\/www.earthwidemoth.com\/blog\/category\/unspecified\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6011,"url":"https:\/\/www.earthwidemoth.com\/blog\/2004\/02\/13\/each-dish-harml\/","url_meta":{"origin":6500,"position":5},"title":"Each Dish Harmless Might Mix Inside, Lub-dub","author":"Derek Mueller","date":"February 13, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"[Clash Combat Rock] Home for a late lunch yesterday, a gobbled Ethiopian fingerplate waiting to be eaten since the weekend, injera and spicy, saucy globstuff. 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