Monday, February 7, 2005

Volatility

Confess to being plumb wore out right now.  Lots of things seem to be are going awry, which is an expected feeling around the fourth week of a demanding semester.  And yes, one self-monitor cautions me to buck up, chill out, keep it steady, and another self-monitor--Disrupter--takes a more rancorous tenor, blares like a high-and-whiny siren.  And another....

Instead of pining over a lackluster day and a stack of work among other stressors, I suppose I ought to wrap this back into broader issues (from classes, of course) about network literacy and identity.  I think my only point for now is that finding a rhythm is just one tender, deceptive sliver of living the interconnection; rhythm-finding is obscured by ease, yes?  When the process/system (of blogging, since, what the heck, that's under the micro-scope) is least visible, it is susceptible to disruption. Writing is easy, not easy. What I'm trying to work through is the extent to which the bumps are explicit or the extent to which the strain of doctoral study makes its way into a space frequented by colleagues whom I see every day at work.  And so I suppose this gives an opening to theorizing the network as wrought with dynamics I still don't understand, new and unpredictable avenues for being placed into various statements.  The schizo-network (made possible by meeting twice or doubly), as a consequence of competing, overlapping and near-simultaneous representations, is vulnerable and, perhaps no matter how widely distributed, somewhat degraded.  Yeah, that's what I wanted to say.  It knows woe; it interpolates absence, it senses strain, recovers quietly.

The unbinding can become so overpowering that it colonizes subjectivities and tears them apart; with no guarantee of either a stable past or a connected future, it is impossible to believe in the unity of a single, stable subject--the subject of our previous discussions of literacy. (Wysocki and Johnson-Eilola 365)

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